Let me start by saying this,I’m not an expert.As a matter of fact;my last serious relationship was probably in 2012 but it lasted well over a year. Was I in love? Yes. We didn’t work out for several reasons, the main being, after so long of being together I felt like over time he got too comfortable and thought that he could tell me anything and I would believe it. We eventually came to terms that we didn’t need to be together or at-least I realized that. It took a long time for me to get over him emotionally. He was someone who I spent most of my time with, someone who had seen me at my most vulnerable moments, most of all we shared a friendship and that was probably the most difficult thing to recover from. I met him when I was sixteen and it took until I was twenty for us to actually become a couple. He knew me like that back of his hand and vice versa, we were two peas in a pod. At the end of the day I loved him but I loved me more. Through my relationship with my ex-boyfriend I learned a lot about myself and relationships which is why I think I’m entitled to give my two-cent about relationships. (Lol)
Here is what I’ve learned:
It is okay to love a person and make compromises for that person but do not compromise who you are for someone else. In a relationship, you grow together and you push one another to be better people. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t feel like the other person is forcing you to be someone that you’re not and you shouldn’t be the only person making compromises. Also,donn’t try to change a person,if they want to change for you,they will. Being with a person is about loving them for who they are,not who you think they can be.
In a relationship, you will have disagreements, you may even tell white lies but when your significant other starts hiding things from you and telling lies…that’s a problem. If you don’t share trust and I mean blind trust,there is no point of being in a relationship with them.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. If there is nobody else in this world you feel comfortable being vulnerable with it should be your mate. A man needs to know that his woman needs him and vice versa. If your woman wants to vent,listen. If your man just wants to play the game and relax for a while,let him. Be one another’s peace.
I’ve learned that it is important to take the initiative in relationships. If you know he/she needs something and can’t purchase or take care of the situation at the moment and you are able to,do it. It is hard finding someone in this world who has your back and who is willing to elevate you whenyou’re down.
Affection. Affection is important. Even if you aren’t having sex,show one another affection. A shoulder rub. Forehead kisses. Hugs. Compliments. All of that matters. It makes your significant other feel wanted, loved and appreciated.
Keep people out of your business. What happens between you,happens between the two of you. Don’t run to other people and/or the Internet. Learn to communicate and work things out together. Stop letting people know when your home isn’t happy,its not their business.
Most importantly,keep God in your relationship. Pray together and pray for one another. If it is meant to work,it will work.