I’ve been thinking about something a lot lately. How in the hell do you make friends as an adult? As a child it was easy to make friends. You could sit next to someone eating the same type of sandwich as you and become best-friends the following week. But,as an adult, its not that easy. I always worry about coming off as a creeper when trying to make friends.I don’t even know how to approach the matter, do you magically just one day become friends without the mention of it. Then there’s always the fact that you could think you’re friends with someone and you really aren’t. For example, at my last job, I had gotten really close with one of my co-workers. We always talked and even worked out together. We went car shopping, grocery shopping and had even met each others families. I thought we were friends but it comes to find out, they just thought of me as a cool co-worker. Talk about a slap in the face!
Shucks, maybe it is harder for me to make friends because A.) I don’t go out often, I’m usually working and B.)I’m perfectly fine with being alone so sometimes I steer away from socializing. Typing that out and reading it aloud really makes me sounds nuts! But, in all seriousness, I’ve asked a few people and we’ve all agreed that making friends as an adult isn’t easy. A lot of things contribute to the hardship(s) of making friends, one main reason being… it is difficult to trust others as adults. As kids we were naive and thought we could trust everyone. Life has taught us otherwise. As kids things were simple, now there are so many politics and other bullshit involved in befriending others. It makes it kind of difficult to even converse with people…everyone wants to be right. Then you have friendships that turn into situation-ships ruining a chance at whatever friendship there was. Personally, I’m very standoffish the smallest thing in a big way could send me walking in the other direction. That may have not made sense. Let’s say someone said,” I hate when people are gay.” That is a small thing in a big way. Although I’m not gay I take offense to that. I most likely would shut down and no longer pursue a friendship with that person.Of course, I respect other people and their opinions but in my opinion saying something like that is ignorant and I don’t want to befriend a person who would say something along those lines. Again, as kids things were so much easier.
It’s easy to meet people and hold a conversation with them but how do you move past the initial conversation? There is this girl on my Instagram,she seems like an awesome person and probably would make a kick ass friend. We speak on Instagram occasionally but never more than a few words. I would actually like to build a friendship but again how do I go about it? I think I would come off a tad creepy if I got in her DM and said hey, I would like to get to know you better…or something along those lines. She would probably think I wanted to make her my girlfriend because most people for some reason always assume that someone is attracted to them. Then there’s the whole trying to be friends with someone who is attracted to you or that you are attracted to. Shit just gets complicated. On top of it all even if you do befriend someone, the longevity of the friendship seems to always be short lived. As adults, we often let relationships, work, pride and so many other things come between friendships. Then you have the type of people that never want to hang out and if they do hang out with you they’re stuck looking at their phone the whole time. I text and surf the Internet just as much as the next person but I like face to face interactions WITHOUT having our phones glued to our hands. What’s the point in being in the company of someone if you aren’t paying them any mind?
Am I thinking too hard on this?
I think this is exactly why dog is mans best-friend. If it weren’t for social media I probably wouldn’t know a lot of the people that I know now. It is much easier to befriend people over the Internet through sites like Facebook but even then, you can come off as a creeper, or come across someone who seems like a creeper but might not actually be. Ugh, then there’s the awkward moment when you actually meet them face to face for the first time. I met a girl in 7th grade off of Black Planet,we became really close and eventually looked at one another as sisters. We finally met and young out when were in high school. We still talk occasionally but it seems like the older we got the more we drifted apart. That happens a lot with childhood friendships. People move away,they get jobs, they have families, etc.
The idea of making friends as adult makes my head hurt, there needs to be some sort of rules to this or levels…something. Geesh!