Category Archives: Selfhelp

Balance

Balancing stones

With students being back in session at my job, trying to write everyday, trying to master the Word (The Bible) and school being back in session for myself…life is hectic. I purchased a planner hoping that it will keep me organized but I’ve come to realize that there are just not enough hours in a day. And a planner isn’t going to work for me, especially since I can’t even remember to write in it. This week alone has been super hectic and work has left my mind feeling drained. Being mentally drained is one of the worst feelings, I’d rather be physically tired. But, I digress. I’ve literally been going to sleep at 9:00. I’ve been working from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and some days later than that. I guess things are a little bit overwhelming right now because the new school just started,we’re hiring and training new staff and students are constantly in need of something. Because work has had meso tired   and mentally worn out, I have even been neglecting my writing, Youtube channel and my blog. Today I realized that  I have to pull it together before I lose my mind. I have to find some kind of balance between work, school and my personal goals. It makes no sense to me, to put more effort into my job than I do for my personal goals. At the rate I’m going I’ll never dedicate time to what I truly want to do in life and that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t plan on and have never saw myself doing what I’m doing now for the rest of my life. At this point I’m being counterproductive in relation to my personal goals. The last thing that I want to do is give up on myself and my life long goals for a job that is a temporary part of my life. 

  
I say all of that to say this. All of us need a healthy balance between work, school and our personal time. You shouldn’t spend the entirety of your day working and neglecting everything else in your life…and vice versa. It is important to have a separation between your day to day responsibilities and giving yourself time to rest your mind and body. It is impossible to do everything in one day,eventually you will shut down and not do anything. Pace yourself. Take things as they come. Lastly,learn to manage your time and your task.  

“No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for ‘we’ are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.”
-Louise L. Hay

Until next time,

-Amber ❤️

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New Age Romance

I wrote a similar blog post a few weeks ago but I had the spirit to write about this today opposed to the 99 other shitty ideas I had.

Perhaps mentally and emotionally I’m stuck in a past time. What happened to going on dates? Spending quality time? Meeting each others parents? Actually communicating face to face, instead of through text messages?

It seems like nearly everyone in my generation has issues with trust and thanks to Loyal by Chris Brown, the vast majority of people go around with the mentality that “these hoes ain’t loyal.” With that, I think some people are idiots because aren’t hoes suppose to be unfaithful? Nonetheless, you can’t categorize all people as being the same. Maybe I’m the one with the distorted vision of love, relationships and fidelity. I’ve been lied to and cheated on. I’ve had my emotions played with and trampled on but that has never created a cold spot in my heart. I may be cautious of who I allow to get close to me and of who I trust but I have never let my past be accountable for my future. I’ve always believed that if you are going to give a person a chance, actually give them a chance. You can’t let past heartbreak stop you from loving. You can’t let someone else breaking your trust stop you from trusting again. And you most certainly can’t make someone be accountable for what another person did to you.In my opinion, people in my generation are damaged emotionally. Too many of us do not know how to forgive and move forward and so many of us fail to realize that forgiveness is for our own peace. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic but I still believe in true love. I believe in unconditional love and I believe that there are still faithful people in this world.

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Are we all doomed by these dark clouds of bias views about the opposite sex?

A Dream Deferred

Langston Hughes was one of the greatest writers and poets of all time…in my opinion. He once asked a profound question,”What happens to a dream deferred?”

What does happen to a dream deferred? I guess the answer to the question depends on the person.

For so long I put my dreams on hold to chase this motto or bright idea of success that so many other people have. For a while, I even chased what I thought my parents wanted for me. Everyone is always pushing the idea that you have to go to college and study really hard. Earn your degree in order to earn a job making six figures,then you have to save lots of money in order to retire and finally enjoy life. No,thank you! It took me a really long time to understand that it is okay to veer away from the path that most people travel.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with going to college and starting a career working with a company or whatever you choose to do with your college education. But, what is for others, is not always for you and my dream has never been to directly work for someone else for the rest of my life. However, I do value a good education. In today’s time, without a college education, or some sort of certification it is hard to stay a float. But, that doesn’t mean you should force yourself into going to college. I believe higher education is something you should want for yourself, opposed to just doing it because it is what everyone around you wants.

My dream has always been to write and to work with at risk children. Have I stuck with that dream,not necessarily. Why? Well, honestly, I got side tracked by life and for a really long time (through the first few years of my 20’s) I let what other people thought about my decisions dictate my actions. After a lot of prayer and working on improving myself, I gained some clarity. I can’t you, you can’t, we can’t, let what other people think about our lives and our decisions prohibit us from following our dreams and building our futures. Some of the Worlds greatest investors, businessman and successors took great risk. If you fail at something,so what! Try again. Try a different approach. We will never accomplish our goals and reach our dreams by being scared, hesitant and certainly not by letting a wrong approach/decision weaken us.

If you don’t take away anything else that I’ve said, remember these few things: If you visualize yourself doing something,you can do it. Dedicate yourself to your vision and create a plan. Stick to your plan and make adjustments as you see fit. Have faith in God and in yourself. Your thoughts become your actions,think positive. Even if you fail 99 times,keep trying until you succeed. Remain humble, regardless of how successful you become remember where you started. Keep in mind that success goes beyond wealth. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Above all, do not limit yourself based on what other people have done and what other people think or have said you can or can not do. Lastly,make yourself a promise to stop deferring your dreams, realistically, almost every dream we defer is never brought to light again.

So what does happen to a dream a deferred?

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Concrete Rose

Welcome back!

With this being my second blog post, I wanted to dig into the ideas going through my head and what’s been happening in my life over the last few months. To some, it may just seem like I’m rambling but to others, you may be able to relate.

It has almost been a year since I’ve moved to Ohio. I haven’t done much of anything, other than work and I’ve found a few good restaurants in between working and doing my on-line classes. I’ve failed to make friends outside of work and Lord knows I haven’t met any potential matches as far as dating is concerned. I haven’t found a new church home and I don’t engage in any community activities.I knew people in Ohio prior to moving here but I’m literally always at work so we don’t hang out much. I don’t want to return to Detroit because I feel like there is nothing there for me, other than my family and friends. Even when I lived in Detroit I felt like work and school consumed my life. I basically gave up on my dreams and goals because work became my everything. That’s no way to live. Have you ever felt like you’ve been placed somewhere for a reason but are unaware of the reason? Welp,that’s how I feel! I feel like God placed me in Ohio, in my current career position for a reason…

When I first arrived in the “O”, some months ago I was hopeful. I felt “new”,for a lack of better words. Months later, I feel warn down and beat up. But lately, I’ve been feeling motivated to turn my attitude and life around. I’m focused on trying to better myself and become a better person. I want to completely surrender to God, get my writing on track and just better my entire existence.

You know how you get credit cards and you go a little crazy…GUILTY! Well I paid off all of my credit cards and shredded them. I’m done with being broke. Not having money is a feeling I’m all to familiar with. I want, I need to start saving more money. I don’t want to be 60 years old with no money in my savings account. The second thing I set off to do was finish school. I’ve come too far in my educational journey to give up. I also started back blogging and making You-tube videos more often. I should have never stopped. Yes, working is a priority to survive but my dreams and goals shouldn’t starve because of it. Most importantly, I want to strengthen my relationship with God and surrender all of my love to him. Without God, I feel like no matter what you do things will never be or go right. I’ve also been working on trying to eat better and exercise more. So far, I’ve done Zumba once since I purchased the DVD’s but I plan to do it at-least four times a week. I want to build more friendships and network. I don’t want to end up being an old spinster with two cats and a bird. Lastly, I’m okay with being single,”the man who finds a wife finds a good thing.” 

My co-worker has been really been helping see life in a new light. I realize that I keep a lot of things bottled inside. I’m sensitive but I can also turn around and snap into beast mode. I want to deal with my emotions in a healthy manner and properly handle problems. I have to stop suppressing my pain and frustrations. 

All in all, I don’t mind living a mediocre life but I don’t want to live knowing that I could have done better or that I could have done more. I want to reach my full potential and grow as much as I can mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is so much that I want to do and see in life and in order to do those things I can’t limit myself to the four corners of my job. I want to live up to my fullest potential and experience what God has in store for me.

See beauty in your growth,just like roses in the concrete.

Until next time, be blessed and stay focused.

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