Tag Archives: Dreams

Dream Career

There is a difference between being good at what you do and loving what you do. On rare occasion, I cross paths with someone who both loves what they do and are good at it. I also believe  that having a career and having a job are two different things.

It has been rather difficult for me to find my dream career because I have no clue what I want it to be. I know that I’m great at a multitude of things, but I don’t think I’d want to make any of those things into a career. Better yet, a dream career. I love writing, but even with that, I don’t see it as a dream career. If I had time to focus only on my writing, then perhaps I could better visualize writing being my dream job. Writing has always been a passion, but I feel that as a career it would be way too much pressure and take away from the joy of doing it.

I’m also extremely indecisive . One day I want to be a lawyer, the next day I want to own a food truck. Maybe I haven’t experimented with enough job avenues to know what I want my dream career to be.

I can say without a doubt that my dream career has something to do with being my own boss. I do not want to be a slave to a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. I want to make my own hours and not have to answer to a boss.

At 26, I’d hope to have this shit figured out.

 

Self Check

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I apologize that it has been a while since my last blog. For quite some time, I temporarily gave up on blogging and recording YouTube videos. I felt it necessary to reestablish my focus and my purpose for blogging and speaking to my YouTube subscribers. Heck, even my purpose for writing books and everything else that I find myself taking part in. My goal has always been to share my experiences and perspective whenever I blog or record videos. Nonetheless, lately  I feel as though I’ve been playing an adult game of Hide and Seek with my personal and career goals. One moment I’m in full force, prepared to take on the world and accomplish the impossible; the next, I’m stalled out, tucked away in my apartment contemplating exactly what I want to do in life.

I’m finding “adulting” to be really difficult at the moment. I appreciate having a job, but I’m struggling to find purpose in my position. While what I do brings some kind of fulfillment it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, even though I’m not sure what I want to do for the rest of  my life with my life. Just going through life, repeating the same things daily has created a void. I wake up almost everyday dreading the thought of even having to be up before 6 a.m.and before I know it I’ve hit snooze six times. I always manage to pull myself together and face each day head on with a smile, but I can’t continue to go through life like this.

I mean, if we’re being honest, I would like a billion dollars and the ability  to travel the world, blog about the people, experiences and food that I encounter on my travels. I guess that’s not the most realistic thing, or at-least a billion dollars magically being placed in my possession is a little far fetched.

As I approach the age of 26 I’ve been taking a great interest in setting new goals and making adjustments to goals that I’ve already established. I’ve been reading books about truly being who you are, without trying to meet the expectations that the world has placed on your shoulders. I’ve been working on stripping myself of all of the negative thoughts that both myself and others have cursed me with. That sounded strange, basically what I mean by that is breaking myself free my negative thoughts and words that have been spoken over my life. Removing all of the doubt from my mind that I can’t do certain things. Reminding myself that I am beautiful and that I am deserving of love, and support. I’ve had to not only take ownership of my flaws and face the woman in the mirror, but I’ve also have had to face the reality that I need to change some of these things about myself. Change the way I think, the way I behave, the way I react. I realize that I am sometimes very passive aggressive, I often times hold grudges and among other things, I allow fear to bully me out of things that I truly would like to do. I’ve learned to take ownership of my mistakes and to move beyond them. There is no point in holding onto what you don’t have the ability to change.

Overall, I want to live up to my own expectations, whatever those will come to be. I have to let down my guard and not be afraid to step into the woman I’m destined to be.

Searching

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Who am I? 

I know what I like to do. I know what makes me happy.  I know my strengths and my weaknesses, but what is the driving force behind the very things that define me?

I’m a daughter, a sister,an aunt, a student and a writer, but in the end none of these things define who I am. They add substance to my being and they contribute to who I am, but still they do not define my identity. I believe that who we are goes far beyond what we like to do and the titles that both ourselves and others label us with. Defining who we are includes how we treat others when they can’t do anything for us, how we act when we’re angry, who we are when people aren’t paying attention, and a variety of other things.

Discovering who I am has become a priority, but it is my opinion that self-discovery is a virtue and not a  destination. As we grow and as we change, we define and re-define ourselves. It is important to remain true to our character as we do so. Character is the foundation of our moral and mental qualities. I want to find and understand my purpose. I want to exude positive vibes and live up to my own metrics of success. I want to break down barriers of who I thought I was and focus on personal growth and new experiences.

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I complied a list of things that I believe to be important in finding yourself:

  1. Understand past events that have helped shaped you into the person that you are presently.
  2. Distinguish your thoughts from the thoughts of others.
  3. Find your confidence.
  4. Overcome bad habits and forgive yourself for your mistakes.
  5. Organize and prioritize your life. Put things in perspective.
  6. Remove pressures created by the rest of the world.
  7. Question yourself and the world around you.
  8. Be courageous. Understand that failure is apart of the journey.
  9. Lose yourself to find yourself, in the words of Gandhi.

 

 

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”

-Danielle LaPorte

What is Life?

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At twenty-five years old most would think that I have a clear plan on what I want to do and how to go about doing it. Nope, not at all.

I know writing is a passion, but trying to figure out what to do with my writing abilities is a task in itself.

I love cooking, but I don’t think I want to be a chef. I already succumb to way too much pressure simply trying cooking for people that I know. I guess I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and baking. I once baked the same cake four times trying to make it perfect.

I’ve thought about being an actress, but I probably couldn’t amuse a group of children reading Little Red Riding Hood, so I think that’s out as well.

Some days I consider selling all of my worldly possessions to travel,but I think considering how much student loan debt that I have, I better chill with that idea.

I considering being  an English teacher, but I don’t have the patience to learn the appropriate way to use commas and other forms of punctuation. I can’t teach others to misuse punctuation. What can I say,I write, I don’t edit!

Often times I have considered starting a publishing company, but I don’t think I would last in that arena.

I’ve pretty much had the same type of jobs since I graduated high school and I haven’t explored other options outside of volunteering and personal trial and errors. I haven’t found anything that I’m like,yeah I could do this for the rest of my life. I get confused and often redirect my attention to new goals and new plans. Perhaps I try to bite off more than I can chew, which has prevented me from tapping into my full potential. I have so many great ideas in my head,but sometimes I struggle acting on them. I often times don’t know where to end or where to begin. I know I can come off as a cluster f%#k, but I’m trying to figure things out. I’m trying to define my own meaning of life instead of being jaded into societies definition. I finally came to the realization that it’s okay to not know, it’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to not be  okay.

Day by day, I try to be better than I was the day before and that’s all any of us can do. I had to learn to stop comparing myself to other people. I had to stop measuring my success next to other people. I had to strip myself of labels and define who I am. I had to understand that despite my age, I’m still growing, I’m still transforming.

What is life? Well that’s entirely up to you!

…be successfully you

 

 

Show Time

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I’ve finally decided to put my big girl panties on and have a book signing. Since I wrote my first book,When the Past Comes Knock’N, I have wanted to host a book signing, but I was too shy and fearful to do so. Since authoring and publishing my first book, I’ve written two more,”Legit and Twenty Something. It is simply time to get my feet wet and it is time for me to step into the true essence of the life of an author. I can’t be scared to step out on faith and I can’t keep delaying the process.

I’ve looked into a few venues (free spaces). I intend to look into libraries near my home and as a last resort I plan to speak with my employer to see if I can host my event at our school.I don’t want my book signing to be thrown together, but I’m defiantly aiming to have it sometime over the Summer. My friend suggested that I ask my guest to bring a plus one to help add to my audience. I would like the book signing to be intimate seeing that it is my first one,but nonetheless still want it to be professional. This will be my first time hosting an event and it will be my first time speaking publicly about my book. I’m nervous, but this is something that I need to do, its a step in the right direction towards not only achieving one of my goals as well as overcoming a fear. I’m excited and I’m hopeful that this will be one of many book signings. I’ve done some research about how to host a book signing, but in the end I can make it what I want to be.

My friend keeps reminding me that I’m an author, that I’ve actually written books and have them published. I spend a lot of time discrediting myself and not taking pride in my accomplishments. I’ve never been confident in announcing that I am an author, that’s a constant battle.I’m working to over come my doubts and fears in myself and with that, I hope this post serves as a boost of confidence for someone else. I know how scary it can be to follow your dreams, but you just have to swallow your fears and walk in faith. Even if you fall, God will catch you. Even if you fail, at-least you tried.

It is time to be fearless and claim the victory!

 

 

http://www.amberjgraham.com

A Dream Deferred

Langston Hughes was one of the greatest writers and poets of all time…in my opinion. He once asked a profound question,”What happens to a dream deferred?”

What does happen to a dream deferred? I guess the answer to the question depends on the person.

For so long I put my dreams on hold to chase this motto or bright idea of success that so many other people have. For a while, I even chased what I thought my parents wanted for me. Everyone is always pushing the idea that you have to go to college and study really hard. Earn your degree in order to earn a job making six figures,then you have to save lots of money in order to retire and finally enjoy life. No,thank you! It took me a really long time to understand that it is okay to veer away from the path that most people travel.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with going to college and starting a career working with a company or whatever you choose to do with your college education. But, what is for others, is not always for you and my dream has never been to directly work for someone else for the rest of my life. However, I do value a good education. In today’s time, without a college education, or some sort of certification it is hard to stay a float. But, that doesn’t mean you should force yourself into going to college. I believe higher education is something you should want for yourself, opposed to just doing it because it is what everyone around you wants.

My dream has always been to write and to work with at risk children. Have I stuck with that dream,not necessarily. Why? Well, honestly, I got side tracked by life and for a really long time (through the first few years of my 20’s) I let what other people thought about my decisions dictate my actions. After a lot of prayer and working on improving myself, I gained some clarity. I can’t you, you can’t, we can’t, let what other people think about our lives and our decisions prohibit us from following our dreams and building our futures. Some of the Worlds greatest investors, businessman and successors took great risk. If you fail at something,so what! Try again. Try a different approach. We will never accomplish our goals and reach our dreams by being scared, hesitant and certainly not by letting a wrong approach/decision weaken us.

If you don’t take away anything else that I’ve said, remember these few things: If you visualize yourself doing something,you can do it. Dedicate yourself to your vision and create a plan. Stick to your plan and make adjustments as you see fit. Have faith in God and in yourself. Your thoughts become your actions,think positive. Even if you fail 99 times,keep trying until you succeed. Remain humble, regardless of how successful you become remember where you started. Keep in mind that success goes beyond wealth. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Above all, do not limit yourself based on what other people have done and what other people think or have said you can or can not do. Lastly,make yourself a promise to stop deferring your dreams, realistically, almost every dream we defer is never brought to light again.

So what does happen to a dream a deferred?

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Concrete Rose

Welcome back!

With this being my second blog post, I wanted to dig into the ideas going through my head and what’s been happening in my life over the last few months. To some, it may just seem like I’m rambling but to others, you may be able to relate.

It has almost been a year since I’ve moved to Ohio. I haven’t done much of anything, other than work and I’ve found a few good restaurants in between working and doing my on-line classes. I’ve failed to make friends outside of work and Lord knows I haven’t met any potential matches as far as dating is concerned. I haven’t found a new church home and I don’t engage in any community activities.I knew people in Ohio prior to moving here but I’m literally always at work so we don’t hang out much. I don’t want to return to Detroit because I feel like there is nothing there for me, other than my family and friends. Even when I lived in Detroit I felt like work and school consumed my life. I basically gave up on my dreams and goals because work became my everything. That’s no way to live. Have you ever felt like you’ve been placed somewhere for a reason but are unaware of the reason? Welp,that’s how I feel! I feel like God placed me in Ohio, in my current career position for a reason…

When I first arrived in the “O”, some months ago I was hopeful. I felt “new”,for a lack of better words. Months later, I feel warn down and beat up. But lately, I’ve been feeling motivated to turn my attitude and life around. I’m focused on trying to better myself and become a better person. I want to completely surrender to God, get my writing on track and just better my entire existence.

You know how you get credit cards and you go a little crazy…GUILTY! Well I paid off all of my credit cards and shredded them. I’m done with being broke. Not having money is a feeling I’m all to familiar with. I want, I need to start saving more money. I don’t want to be 60 years old with no money in my savings account. The second thing I set off to do was finish school. I’ve come too far in my educational journey to give up. I also started back blogging and making You-tube videos more often. I should have never stopped. Yes, working is a priority to survive but my dreams and goals shouldn’t starve because of it. Most importantly, I want to strengthen my relationship with God and surrender all of my love to him. Without God, I feel like no matter what you do things will never be or go right. I’ve also been working on trying to eat better and exercise more. So far, I’ve done Zumba once since I purchased the DVD’s but I plan to do it at-least four times a week. I want to build more friendships and network. I don’t want to end up being an old spinster with two cats and a bird. Lastly, I’m okay with being single,”the man who finds a wife finds a good thing.” 

My co-worker has been really been helping see life in a new light. I realize that I keep a lot of things bottled inside. I’m sensitive but I can also turn around and snap into beast mode. I want to deal with my emotions in a healthy manner and properly handle problems. I have to stop suppressing my pain and frustrations. 

All in all, I don’t mind living a mediocre life but I don’t want to live knowing that I could have done better or that I could have done more. I want to reach my full potential and grow as much as I can mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is so much that I want to do and see in life and in order to do those things I can’t limit myself to the four corners of my job. I want to live up to my fullest potential and experience what God has in store for me.

See beauty in your growth,just like roses in the concrete.

Until next time, be blessed and stay focused.

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