Tag Archives: Jobs

Chances Make Champions,Right?

My current place of employment is going through a transition and we are switching to a new management company. Throughout the initial process the new company has been somewhat secretive of their plans. They recently offered me a position and it has been a great debate about whether or not I should accept the job.  For those of you who don’t know, I work at a high school. The new management company is basically starting an entire new program that is K-12 opposed to 9-12. I haven’t the slightest clue what the curriculum or model of the school is going to be, that has yet to be disclosed. On top of that I believe everyone else at the current school was offered a slight raise with the new company and I was not, but that’s beside the point.

This might sound crazy, but I legitimately want to turn down the offer. It’s not about money or their secrecy. It’s about taking a chance on myself. My entire life, I say that as if I’m 65 years old and ready for retirement but you get my point…I’ve worked job after job, always exhausting my energy and never applying pressure to myself to make my dreams flourish. Is it risky business turning down a job in this economy, most certainly but is it even more risky to dedicate yourself to a job instead of living up to your potential,absolutely.  I have until May 5, 2017 to accept the offer and I’m honestly at a loss here. To sign or not to sign, that is the question. I don’t know if I should gamble on myself and not take the job and see where life leads me or continue being content with life working a mediocre job that pays the bills.

In my heart of hearts, I want to be that bold person that leaves the offer on the table to bet on myself, but do I have enough guts to actually do that? Not accepting the job means moving back to Michigan to live with my parents. I’m not too keen on living back with mommy and daddy. Declining would also mean working a job that I probably dislike, but I would have more time to dedicate myself to other things. Then there’s the fact that what if I don’t take the job and still don’t dedicate myself to my goals. Like WTF!? I know I’m being indecisive and I have to make a decision and live with that decision,but damn! How do you make a decision when you don’t know what decision is best in the long run? I wish I could have a glimpse into the next six months of my life, that would make my decision much easier.  Do you rely on stability, or do you take a chance? It’s not like I’m 19 years old and don’t have any bills. I’m 26 going on 27 with a car note, student loans and a costly AT&T bill that will be with me whether I have a job or not. At this moment, being an adult is overrated.

In the end, it is a matter of walking in faith or walking in fear.

 

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Dream Career

There is a difference between being good at what you do and loving what you do. On rare occasion, I cross paths with someone who both loves what they do and are good at it. I also believe  that having a career and having a job are two different things.

It has been rather difficult for me to find my dream career because I have no clue what I want it to be. I know that I’m great at a multitude of things, but I don’t think I’d want to make any of those things into a career. Better yet, a dream career. I love writing, but even with that, I don’t see it as a dream career. If I had time to focus only on my writing, then perhaps I could better visualize writing being my dream job. Writing has always been a passion, but I feel that as a career it would be way too much pressure and take away from the joy of doing it.

I’m also extremely indecisive . One day I want to be a lawyer, the next day I want to own a food truck. Maybe I haven’t experimented with enough job avenues to know what I want my dream career to be.

I can say without a doubt that my dream career has something to do with being my own boss. I do not want to be a slave to a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. I want to make my own hours and not have to answer to a boss.

At 26, I’d hope to have this shit figured out.

 

Pity-Party

Image result for pity party

 

Have you ever felt defeated and just drained of the last ounce of hope and patience that you have? That’s how I feel today. I’m just tired. Tired of the redundancy of my job. Tired of school. Tired of not being appreciated. Tired of living a life that I don’t enjoy. Tired of waking up everyday dreading going to work, thinking of the task that I may be forced to face.

Maybe I’m writing this because I’m in a rather shitty mood,but everything I say is true,despite the fury in my words at the current moment.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for all that I have, even my job regardless of how much I currently dislike it. And yes, I’m aware that changing my life is in my hands, but that becomes  rather difficult when all the effort that you put into making a transition doesn’t seem to ever go in your favor.

Now I was fine this morning. My morning started with blueberry muffin and a coffee from Starbucks. I had my music blasting and enjoyed my Starbucks on the way to work.  I was even fine when I walked through the door at work, even though 99 people walk by one another and don’t bother to speak, but whatever! Then I got a missed a call. A call basically informing me that I didn’t get the job that I applied for.  It was one of those, please call back to discuss the next step of employment. I already knew it was a no, but my co-workers kept trying to convince me that I was wrong. I called back and that’s exactly what it was.

I can deal with not getting a job, but it pissed me off because I’m an internal applicant and they knew from day one that they weren’t going to hire me, but instead they put me through hoops giving me the illusion that I was eligible for the position. I understand formalities and all of that, but are you kidding me? Let’s just keep it 100 and not waste anybody’s time. The job was in another state and I think I just wanted so badly to move and to start over that it all together crushed my spirit and irritated the depth of my soul. After all this is the second time they’ve led me on about a job. I know what you’re thinking;Amber maybe you just suck. Nope,I got exceeds expectations on my last performance review and I’ve gotten three awards since being employed. I do my job, and I think I do it well. As my mother said, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Despite that shit storm, in general nothing seems to be going my way. Every job I’ve applied for, denied. Every query letter I’ve sent for my books, declined. I even suck at being in college. 120 credits but my residency requirement hasn’t been fulfilled;degree declined. Let’s not mention the fact that Donald Trump won the presidential election last night. That alone has me ready to dive off of a cliff. Like what theeeeeee fuck!?!

Let me have my 60 second pity party, y’all. I’m going to pull it together and I know things could be worse. I know that I don’t have it that bad and I know everyone has shitty days. I know that sometimes life just kicks your ass and you just have to rise up from the ass beating. I know, I know, I know. This isn’t my first storm and it won’t be my last, but it never makes the fall lighter or easier to rise up from.

So, in closing I leave you all with this and myself as well. Be patient. Everything that is meant for you will always be for you. You can only be defeated if you give up. Keep hanging on, keep floating, keep trying. One day, the very frustrations or troubles that you are facing at this very moment will be almost comical. Stay strong and keep fighting the good fight.

Sincerely, one pissed off person to another.

Find Your Joy!

When it all boils down to it, would you rather have a job that you hate but it brings you wealth, or a job that doesn’t bring you wealth but allows you to live comfortably and it makes you happy?

I’ve spent my adulthood (I’m 25) working jobs that I hate but nonetheless have allowed me to maintain minor luxuries.  My co-worker and I had a discussion today about our jobs vs our happiness. We both agreed that we would rather be happy than make x-amount of dollars. Nonetheless, we can’t be foolish and say screw our jobs, let’s go live on a beach and catch sea turtles.  I would love to spend my time on this earth doing what I love to do but then I stopped to ask myself, “What is it that I love doing? What would bring me joy? What would I love doing even if it didn’t make me wealthy? Writing is the only thing that came to mind. I would love to travel and blog. Take pictures and write stories. Oh, and cook and eat! Realistically without having enough savings and some sort of income I probably won’t be able to do that. I guess that’s the irony of life. We get jammed up working jobs that we dislike, hoping that one day we can live out the dreams that we’ve engineered.

Sometimes I feel stuck,trapped in places that I hate. But, I know things will change, I just have to be patient and pray. I have to wait on Gods timing. I know that this is apart of my journey.  I know that I have to keep writing and become a better writer than what I am now. I have to master my craft and invest in myself. I leave you all with this,fight for what you want! Fight for your dreams and fight for your happiness!  Find your joy and figure out how to make money from it. Don’t give up, you are closer to bliss than you think!
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