There is a difference between being good at what you do and loving what you do. On rare occasion, I cross paths with someone who both loves what they do and are good at it. I also believe that having a career and having a job are two different things.
It has been rather difficult for me to find my dream career because I have no clue what I want it to be. I know that I’m great at a multitude of things, but I don’t think I’d want to make any of those things into a career. Better yet, a dream career. I love writing, but even with that, I don’t see it as a dream career. If I had time to focus only on my writing, then perhaps I could better visualize writing being my dream job. Writing has always been a passion, but I feel that as a career it would be way too much pressure and take away from the joy of doing it.
I’m also extremely indecisive . One day I want to be a lawyer, the next day I want to own a food truck. Maybe I haven’t experimented with enough job avenues to know what I want my dream career to be.
I can say without a doubt that my dream career has something to do with being my own boss. I do not want to be a slave to a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. I want to make my own hours and not have to answer to a boss.
At 26, I’d hope to have this shit figured out.
There are a lot of 30-day challenges floating around these days. As you all may know,well if you frequently follow my blog you are aware that I completed a no meat challenge back in February 2016. This month through June, I’m trying something a little different. On May 22, 2016 (yesterday) I started a 30-day journal challenge. The challenge will run through June 22, 2016. The goal is to journal something everyday. The journal entry needs to be your 100% raw (unfiltered thoughts/feelings). Literally, no holding back! At the end of the 30 days you are supposed to go back through the entries and reflect.
I usually journal every night, but those entries are more so prayers. I have two notebooks that I already use as journals; one is for prayers and the other is for scriptures and Bible notes. I purchased a simple spiral notebook that has 30 pages,if I need more space, I’ll buy another notebook. I think this challenge will be good for me and I’m hoping that it will help me sort out my thoughts and regain my focus on my actual book writing. I initially thought about making it a 30-day blog challenge where I publicly wrote the journal entries as blogs (I’m not sold on that idea). By the end of the 30-days I’m hoping to have learned something about myself and to have overcome some of the day to day issues that I seem to struggle with. This shall be interesting.
I would like to extend my apologies for taking a little under a month to write a new post. My head has been in the clouds lately. We’re almost half way through 2016 and I feel stagnant. I’m standing on my faith that God has a plan for me, but I nonetheless feel out of sorts. Between work and school, most days I just want to cuddle with my imaginary boyfriend, eat snacks and watch old episodes of Law and Order SVU.
Back to your regularly scheduled program…
As some of you may know, I recently published my third book,”Twenty Something.” I went the route of self publishing all three of my novels, but I recently realized that I just don’t have the gusto to promote myself and my work. That is pretty evident with my lack of blog exposure. I have attempted to utilize my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts, but have been unsuccessful in my attempts. Maybe I’m too lazy, or maybe I simply lack marketing knowledge. In all honestly, probably both. Nonetheless, I have decided to try an alternate route. There are several self-publishing companies that offer marketing services. For about $1,000 or more, these companies create press releases and several other author and book exposure propositions. I have been researching these companies and looking into authors who have published genres similar to mine in hopes of gaining a better understanding of the overall process. I also have looked into larger published companies such as Harper Collins, but most of these companies do not take unsolicited work. I finally realize that I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried to write, edit, sell and promote my books on my own…it’s too much. I just want to focus on one task which is writing.
Over the past few weeks I’ve seen just how vicious the publishing world can be. I’ve sent out several query letters and so far I have been declined twice. It can be a bit discouraging, especially since publishing companies and/or agents don’t give you advice or an explanation as to why they chose not to accept your work. I know I have talent, but when you are denied back to back you begin to question yourself and your abilities. Regardless of the doors that have slammed in my face, I am still hopeful. My plan is to reach out to Simon and Schuster and see what their services entail. My one desire since I decided to write a book has been to be on the New York Times Bestseller list and alone that isn’t happening I’m very hopeful that one day I will be… Stay tuned for updates!
If you are interested in reading more about my books and/or making a purchase please visit my website www.amberjgraham.com
I’m not sure what is wrong with me. I feel drained of my creativity and I don’t have any eagerness to write. I feel lost, almost as if writing is no longer for me. I don’t know how to resolve the issue, or how to make a come back from this rut I’m stuck in. I’m beginning to question whether writing is even my gift. It’s almost like my thoughts are constipated. I’ve even been struggling to write blog post. I get annoyed when I do try to write, I don’t know where to begin or where to end. I want to give up on writing, but I know that isn’t an option. I guess I’m just tired of trying, of being stuck in the same place. I know that this feeling will pass,that it is only temporary, but in the mean time I don’t know what to do.
Last night I spoke with a close friend of mine. He and I usually speak once a week but I hadn’t spoken to him in over two weeks. It was a given that we had a lot of thoughts to exchange. After we got all of the how have you been’s…what have you been up to’s out of the way,we got to the real meat and potatoes of the conversation. I felt inclined to share certain parts of my life with him, I exposed emotional and mental parts of myself to him that he’s never seen. I felt a sense of weakness because I had never done so.. For the first time I became vulnerable to him. I fought back salty tears as I spoke of my deceased grandmother and aunt, two women who meant the world to me. Once I pulled my shit together, we landed on the topic of life goals and the things we want out of life. It was close to 4:00 o’clock in the morning as we both sleepily held our phones to our ears. I assume the late hour is what struck such deep conversation, well at-least on my end. I went on to say that if I wasn’t meant to be a writer, I don’t know what it is that I was meant to be.
Every since I was a child I’ve enjoyed two things, playing school and writing. Seeing that I’m twenty-five years old, I no longer play school so I’ve been left with writing. I’m not the best writer and I still have a ways to go before I’m even considered good. Nonetheless, writing is all I think about, it’s all I’ve ever seriously seen myself doing. I watched a speech by Jim Carrie and in one minute he summed up life for me. Carrie said,”You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance at what you love.” That hit me like a ton of bricks and it made so much sense to me. We spend so much, if not all of our lives doing what we don’t want to do because we’re scared of failure. Meanwhile, we get terminated from jobs that we hate or simply can’t hack it at others. Why not give what we love a chance?
I snapped back into the conversation and my friend reminded me that everything is in Gods time. Maybe I’m not a bestselling author today but that doesn’t mean I should stop striving to be one. Things most likely won’t happen when you want them to or how you want them to but God defiantly has a plan for you and your name can’t be removed from that plan by anyone on this earth. What is yours, is yours!
By the end of our conversation, I had a boost of confidence. However, the question still remained…if I’m not meant to be a writer, then I don’t know what it is that I’m meant to be. I vowed to myself that I will give myself a chance at what I love. A chance to be happy doing what I love to do. If we never take chances, we’ll never know what could have been.