Birthday Blues

Well, it’s the eve of my 26th birthday. Literally, fifteen minutes until twelve o’clock. I’m not only alone,but I’m lonely. For the very first time in my life I’ll be spending my birthday alone. As I write this I can’t help but to think about the people that I miss. Remembering all of the birthdays with them that I reluctantly took for granted.  All of the birthday cakes favorite dinners that my grandmother would make. The morning unveiling of gifts  because I was too impatient to wait. The silly, yet sentimental cards that I would receive. The gifts that money can’t buy. The gathering to sing happy birthday around the dinner table in honor of little oh me. I wish I could bottle those moments just to preserve them. The older I get the more I yearn for those very moments.

Fifteen minutes later,it is officially midnight. HAPPY BIRTHDAY,to me. As I write this I’m unsure of what to say. I have that dry itch feeling in the back of my throat, the one you feel right before you cry. All day,I’ve tried to pump myself up,but there’s no reverencing this feeling.

I pray that this year brings joy and peace;that I grow in confidence and in strength. I pray that I find my source of happiness and that I become more grounded. I pray for growth and that I not only find my passion but have the courage and curiosity to chase it. I pray for love. I pray that in my 26th year of life I find myself,that I find the richness of life in non-monetary things. I pray to enjoy the simple things, to be more open to new people and new experiences.