What is Life?

At twenty-five years old most would think that I have a clear plan on what I want to do and how to go about doing it. Nope, not at all.

I know writing is a passion, but trying to figure out what to do with my writing abilities is a task in itself.

I love cooking, but I don’t think I want to be a chef. I already succumb to way too much pressure simply trying cooking for people that I know. I guess I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and baking. I once baked the same cake four times trying to make it perfect.

I’ve thought about being an actress, but I probably couldn’t amuse a group of children reading Little Red Riding Hood, so I think that’s out as well.

Some days I consider selling all of my worldly possessions to travel,but I think considering how much student loan debt that I have, I better chill with that idea.

I considering being  an English teacher, but I don’t have the patience to learn the appropriate way to use commas and other forms of punctuation. I can’t teach others to misuse punctuation. What can I say,I write, I don’t edit!

Often times I have considered starting a publishing company, but I don’t think I would last in that arena.

I’ve pretty much had the same type of jobs since I graduated high school and I haven’t explored other options outside of volunteering and personal trial and errors. I haven’t found anything that I’m like,yeah I could do this for the rest of my life. I get confused and often redirect my attention to new goals and new plans. Perhaps I try to bite off more than I can chew, which has prevented me from tapping into my full potential. I have so many great ideas in my head,but sometimes I struggle acting on them. I often times don’t know where to end or where to begin. I know I can come off as a cluster f%#k, but I’m trying to figure things out. I’m trying to define my own meaning of life instead of being jaded into societies definition. I finally came to the realization that it’s okay to not know, it’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to not be  okay.

Day by day, I try to be better than I was the day before and that’s all any of us can do. I had to learn to stop comparing myself to other people. I had to stop measuring my success next to other people. I had to strip myself of labels and define who I am. I had to understand that despite my age, I’m still growing, I’m still transforming.

What is life? Well that’s entirely up to you!

…be successfully you

 

 

Sugar Daddy or Trap Queen?

 

I’m a centimeter away from either selling drugs, or getting a sugar daddy. Having a sugar daddy is probably more plausible. Right?

I recently completed entrance counseling to hopefully complete my current Criminology degree program at Cleveland State University.  I can’t say that I wasn’t shocked by how much money I’ve borrowed for my education, but I was somehow still shocked. If that makes sense. Why are educations so expensive? No, I’m sorry let me rephrase that, why are pieces of paper so expensive? I will literally be spending the next 10+ years paying off these loans for a degree that may, or may not be beneficial to my life. The current interest rate for federal direct subsidized loans for Undergraduate students is 4.29%. 4.29 %, that’s higher than the interest rate of some credit card companies. Meanwhile, I can barely keep all of my month to month bills paid. And, why in the hell are the monthly payments so high? For some reason the government thinks $300.00 a month is reasonable. Ha! Why not though? My fancy degree apparently has me making millions of dollars a week,right?

I’m not sure if I would have been better off not going to college and not having debt, or if I’m better off with a degree and this pile of thousand dollar debt. Why should I even have to ask myself that question? Why isn’t free college a thing? Or,at-least more cost friendly tuition rates. We live in a country where college is force fed, yet its not affordable for most American people. That makes a whole lot of sense. But, who am I kidding?  I know why its so expensive, the government likes raping our pockets. Keeping us poor.  Like seriously!  They love the sh*t.  It almost makes me want to fake my own death and move to a remote island. As a matter of fact,refer to me as Maria Cosmosa from this point forward. But, on a serious note, I sincerely hope that someday, one day soon we get a legitimate student loan forgiveness program with affordable repayment plans. More importantly, for future generations, I hope that tuition rates decrease.

Well, on the bright side, at-least I don’t have Sallie Mae breathing down my neck at the same time that Uncle Sam is pick-pocketing me!

 

 

Have a laugh as you count your own student loan debt, we’re all in this horse manure storm together!