Tuesday Thoughts

 

For those of you who follow my blog, you probably already know that I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. The home of the Tigers, Lions, Pistons and Red Wings. The city that drinks Vernors for whatever ales you. The city within a city.  Detroiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttt! Growing up my parents kept me pretty sheltered. They knew who my friends were, who their parents were and I wasn’t allowed to be anywhere without their permission. As a child, I didn’t understand why my parents kept me so guarded, my  understanding of the streets were opaque. It wasn’t until middle school that I began to understand just how rough the streets were and how vicious people could be. Even then, I was still living in darkness about the city around me.

In high school, I had more freedom. My comings and goings were still monitored, but I had a lot of idol time after school, before my parents got home. I became friends and even dated some unsavory characters. I did a lot of things that I shouldn’t have, things that others deemed as normal. I was exposed to different experiences, environments and people,I learned a lot about the streets. My vision become more transparent. A whole new world opened up, not a pretty one either. I started to lose friends because of their involvement in the streets, or simply because they were in the right place at the wrong time. I guess I became numb to death and loss became a normalcy. It wasn’t until recently that I began to take heed to all of the negativity and evil occurrences that continue to transpire in the city. For most of my life I’ve dealt with negative commentary about being from Detroit. Most folks think that we’re all killers and drug dealers;the scum of the earth. In reality, there are truly some amazing people in Detroit and from Detroit. The city is truly discredited for it’s efforts, mainly because of crime rates and mainstream media.

I’ve officially been out of Detroit for three years, I’m actively on the outside looking in. Bad things happen every where, but for a place that you call home to birth so much ugly, both sadness and sickens me. I fear for the lives of my family and my friends. Everyday I see at-least one my friends on social media post RIP to someone they love. I frequently hear about childhood friends being injured or killed at the hands of someone else. Again, horrible events happen everywhere, everyday, but it hurts even more when you are from the very place where events are occurring, when your family and friends are in the mist of it and when you fear for their lives.

I believe that Detroit is diamond in the rough, but like most places people uphold themselves to a different moral code. Neighborhoods have lost courage. Communities are broken, people are broken. People are living in fear. The value of inanimate objects is placed before the value of a human life. Individuals are consumed with greed and under the assumption that they own the streets. People take what they didn’t not earn. So many people have accepted the death and corruption around them that they see no reason to rise up against it.

I pray for change. I pray that people everywhere begin to see the value of other peoples lives. I pray that people begin to see the destruction that they are causing and the lives that they are ruining. I pray that if nothing else, people begin to see the error in their ways.

 

Finding,Amber!

I know, I stink at this whole blogging gig. (Sad face) I’m not consistent enough with writing a post once a week to save someone else’s life, better yet my own. I could say it’s because I’m so busy or because work has me so mentally exhausted. But, it’s honestly because I’m not organized and because I don’t plan out my time well enough to incorporate blogging into my week. I really enjoy blogging and I hope people enjoy reading my blog, so PLEASE, PLEASE cooperate with me as I pull my life together and get myself on track. One day, I don’t know when but one day, I’ll be consistent and consistently interesting!

After saying all that let’s do this!

When I moved to Ohio I started spending way too much on fast-food, like way too much. I probably buy pizza every Friday and don’t get me started on how many visits I’ve made to Chickfila. They have the best breakfast sandwiches. Places like Marcos Pizza and Chickfila are convenient and easy, therefore they have gotten all of my coins.  I looked in the mirror the other day then looked at a picture from 2014 before I left Detroit, major difference. I’ve gained more than a few pounds. I decided to challenge myself, for the entire month of February I will not be eating meat and I’ve cut back on fried foods,have incorporated more veggies and fruits into my diet and. I’ve also been drinking more than a gallon of water everyday or at-least trying to. This has forced me to try new foods and an added bonus is that I’ve been saving money by not eating out every other day.

 I also realized that sometimes I curse way too much and that I needed to be closer to God because my life just going well or “right” with me living without God’s direction. Overall I had and have to adjust certain things about myself and my life. I started to pray to be a better person. I started to pray for my state of mind to be shifted, to have the thoughts of my imagination cast down along with an abundance of other prayers. I also started a prayer book. I literally write to God as if I’m writing a letter to my bestfriend. God has been working with me and I’m slowly starting to see myself in a different light. I’ve been seeing change within myself from the inside, out.  I’m much happier than I was a month ago or even a week ago. Yes, I stumble and have bad days. Curse words still fly out of my mouth from time to time and I still have moments where my temper gets the best of me but I’m learning and growing. My thought pattern has elevated and I’m on an entirely different path.  Everyday is a blessing and I’m excited for my journey and what is yet to come.

In closing, I would like to say this,stand strong in who you’re. Be confident in the person that you’re and do not fold because people of this world don’t understand or agree with who you’re and what your journey is. If you believe in God than trust in Him. Walk in his path and allow him to navigate your path.

 

 

 

Stay blessed!

 

Walking by FAITH!

Lately I’ve been trying to get more in tune with the Word of God and actually understand what I’m reading. I want to live by His words and not just throw out scriptures here and there. I also try to journal my thoughts, prayers and frustrations. Most days I’m consistent with writing something and some times I skip two or four days and write really long entries the following day(s). I haven’t worked my way up to going to church every Sunday because honestly I stay up too late on Saturday and just don’t get up on time,which isn’t a good excuse. (Not that there ever is a good enough excuse.) I find myself listening to Joel Olsteen podcast and occasionally I will blast gospel music in the car. I pray every morning and every night or at-least I try to. Whenever I feel myself getting worked up,I say a prayer. I will admit, I still struggle with a lot of things such as not getting angry as much and remaining positive despite any daily hardships. Nonetheless, I’m learning!  I’m learning to not lean on my own understand and to trust in God. I’m learning to listen to God when he tells me to do something. I’m learning to humble myself and right my wrongs. The funny thing about God is, he will put you in some uncomfortable positions and make you do some things that you really don’t want to do, in order to get you where you need to be. I’m learning every day how to walk in faith and to not walk by sight. To worry less and to pray more. To listen for understanding and not just to speak. To be quiet and protect my words because every waking thought doesn’t need to be heard. To think before I speak and act. To adjust my way of thinking because my thoughts will become my actions.

I still have a long way to go but each day I just try to be better than I was the day before. I’m a work in progress but each step I take is bringing me closer to God and the person that I want to be…more humble, wise,forgiving, giving, joyful and most of all faithful to God and His plans for my life.